Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Who Am I?

At first, I thought “Why me”? But, I know it’s not just me. This is something that plays itself out over and over in every family. It should not be a huge surprise … but it is.

I call dad every week. Sometimes every two weeks. It is awful. His mind is going fast. It started with having a hard time with recent events and facts. It progressed to struggling, almost physically, to get something out … to the point of almost stuttering. Then came repeating himself. I don’t mean repeating the same story you told last week. I mean retelling a story 30 seconds after you finish telling it … over and over with no idea of what you said before. Twenty minutes on the phone with dad might mean hearing the same story up to ten times. This alternates with perseveration about things. For quite a while now it has been about Wayne not calling. He can’t figure it out … and it comes up numerous times every time I call him.

I thought, “Why me”? But, I knew it was coming. On my last call, dad had no earthly idea who I was, nor any of the other sons. He recognized my voice but was totally confused by it all. I don’t know yet if it was just a momentary lapse. I suspect instead that it is just a beginning. It is so sad! There is nothing I can do. I think is will only get worse.